Measuring distortion
Tissot's indicatrix
A tiny circle on the sphere becomes an ellipse on the map, and the ellipse's two axes are the whole story. Almost every published indicatrix is drawn without them, which discards the content and keeps the decoration.
What survives a change of coordinates
The scale along the meridian is a property of the map and the grid together. The principal scale factors are a property of the map alone. Only the second kind describes the projection, and the two are routinely quoted as though they were the same thing.
The two ways a map is wrong
Angles and areas fail independently. A projection can be perfect about one and catastrophic about the other, and a single number summarising "how distorted" a map is has already thrown away the distinction that matters.
Measuring instead of naming
A projection is called conformal because that is its name. Running the definition as a computation over several hundred points takes about twenty lines, catches a projection the whole internet uses, and is almost never done.