Six surfaces and their Gaussian curvature
Curvature computed at the centre of each surface, by both available routes — from the way the surface sits in space, and from distances measured inside it alone. The two agree, which is Gauss's theorem. A surface with K = 0 can be unrolled flat without stretching: here the plane, the cylinder and the cone do, and the sphere, the torus and the pseudosphere do not.
It is drawn by curvature-figure with
show: "surface-curvature" — one member of a family of
29 figures
that share a generator, so the drawing above is what that generator returns when it is asked
for this one and given nothing else.
8 essays call it. Every call below passes it something, because a placement that passes nothing draws whichever member of the family the generator happens to default to rather than the one its essay argues about.
Where it is called
Changing this changes every one of these figures.
No map is faithful
Not "no map yet", and not "no map at page size". Gaussian curvature can be computed from inside a surface, a sphere has some and a plane has none, and that closes the question permanently.
What can be unrolled
A cylinder is obviously curved and is intrinsically flat, so it lays out on a table with nothing stretched. A sphere is not. The distinction is exactly zero Gaussian curvature, and it is why paper tubes exist and paper globes do not.
Measuring curvature from inside
A flatlander with a ruler can find out that its world is round, by drawing a triangle and adding the angles. Gauss–Bonnet turns that into an exact statement, and the total curvature of a closed surface turns out to be a number obtained by counting.
The curvature of the Earth is not one number
An ellipsoid's Gaussian curvature varies by 1.35% from equator to pole, so the sphere is not developable onto the ellipsoid any more than the plane is onto the sphere. The spherical approximation is a projection with an irreducible cost, and the cost is 6,739 parts per million.
A direction carried round a loop
Carry a bearing round a circuit, keeping it as parallel to itself as the surface allows, and it comes back turned. Round a parallel at 45° the turn is 4.443 radians and the cap enclosed is 1.840, and they sum to exactly one revolution — so the turning is not the curvature, and on a cone it is all of one and none of the other.
Impossible in two derivatives, possible in one
The impossibility this whole collection rests on computes a second derivative, so it is a statement about maps that have two. Take one away and it is false: a corrugation restores an exact length while converging to the map that does not, and iterating it gives a flattening whose derivative converges and whose curvature runs to half a million.
Where the surface curves the other way
Twelve rungs argue the impossibility on surfaces whose curvature is positive everywhere. The surface a map of the ground actually depicts is not one of them: a stated terrain is saddle-shaped over 79 per cent of its curved area, its curvature runs to twenty-two thousand times the Earth's own, and even a single smooth hill is concave over 89 per cent of itself.
A body that is not an ellipsoid
Vesta's three axes are 286.3, 278.6 and 223.2 kilometres, all different, so it has no axis of revolution — and on such a body the planetographic latitude of a point at 45° planetocentric swings by 1.4° as one walks round it in longitude, and by 6.4° on Phobos. Latitude stops being a function of position.